Fragile Touch Read online

  “What was that earlier, then? Food poisoning?”

  “I wish.”

  He frowned. “What do you mean?”

  She sighed, exasperated. “You ask a lot of questions for a stranger.”

  Cayden lowered his head to nuzzle the cat. “She says we’re strangers,” he whispered. “But you and I aren’t strangers, right?”

  “I need to rest early, so if you wouldn’t mind keeping your volume down a little that would be greatly appreciated.” She regretted how unfriendly the words sounded as they came out of her mouth, but there was no other choice. The last thing she needed was to fall for a guy.

  Why would I fall for this guy? I hate his behavior and his weekend lifestyle. And he’s really rude for all that noise.

  But he’s not rude for freshening up the yard and carrying you inside, contradicted another voice inside hernhead. What’s so bad about it, anyway? Gray Cat loves him. That’s unusual.

  “So...you need to work, but you need to go to sleep early. What’s your real schedule?” A little smirk tweaked his lips and his eyes glimmered.

  She felt her breath catch in her throat. He was just...so hot. Stop doing that smirk thing, dammit! I have stone-cold emotions, so why am I so malleable right now?

  “I can’t come over, Cayden,” was the simple reply.

  She saw him start to say something. Something probably charming that would make her wish she were more reckless. He never said it, though. With a little smile, he nodded and looked at the floor.

  “Maybe some other time, then.”

  I don’t think so. She didn’t have the guts to say it, so she stayed quiet. Cayden handed her the cat, who was clawing at him fanatically. She caught a whiff of his smell again; it was different this time, since he had obviously showered. His clothes were clean, but he still carried a musky aroma in a cloud around him. It wasn’t cologne, she could tell. It was his natural smell. Maybe intensified by some good body wash or something.

  Cayden walked away, but just as she was shutting the door he turned and yelled comedically, “You don’t know what you’re missing out on, Lillian Warren!”

  “I can imagine!” she called back.

  “It won’t be as fun without you!”

  A little piece of her heart broke. “Are you always this insistent?”

  He struck a pose, stretching the sleeves of his shirt tight. “I believe you mean attractive and alluring.”

  “Something like that.” She didn’t realize what she was saying until it was too late. At the positivity, Cayden beamed and disappeared back into his terrain.

  Lillian dropped the cat, who ran back into the other room like a maniac. She barely noticed. Lowering herself into her reading chair, she closed her eyes and took several deep breaths to re-center.

  She was a hard one to get. Usually guys had to work to get her to even talk to them. Obviously, it was hard to not talk to someone who knocked on her door, but still. The way she melted in the presence of this guy...that hadn’t happened for a long time. She was sure she had blocked off every vulnerable emotion inside her.

  Obviously not.

  This situation was so confusing—every aspect of it. How she was so aware of his smell and the way he held himself. Tiny facial movements she had never realized she found irresistible. The fact that his teeth were straight. She had never cared about teeth. Why did she notice his right off the bat?

  You want him, said that stupid voice inside her head, and she slammed her fist on the cushiony chair.

  “I do not want him,” she said firmly. “He disrupts my routine and my work. And he likes noise. I don’t like noise.”

  The instant she heard her voice, her eyes flickered to the door to make sure he wasn’t within earshot. She couldn’t even see him from here. Over toward his house, a door slammed shut.

  That would’ve sucked if he’d heard me. She felt air fill her lungs with each inhale. After the incident this morning, her energy level was quite low compared to normal. She knew she had to take it easy or her health would suffer.

  “Calm your heart down, Lillian,” she murmured to herself. “He’s just the neighbor. It’s been a while since you’ve been near a guy, but it’s for the best. Your life is just how you planned it, and that’s not going to change.”

  Chapter 3

  It all changed.

  Cayden suddenly became a regular part of her thoughts. She found herself looking out the window when she heard him talking to another neighbor or working in his yard. She started to hate his yard. It was too perfect. So was his body.

  He was just so stupidly charming, and he knew it. She hated the fact that he knew it.

  She didn’t see him the day after his “small get-together.” There was almost no noise from the little party, so she knew he was telling the truth about not many people coming over. A group of fewer people was more appealing to her, and she wondered why she didn’t go over and at least try something new. Maybe it would have been fun.

  Her rational side kept convincing her it was a bad idea to hang out with him and his crowd. Besides, she had better things to do with her time. There was work to do and books to read. She had to work on framing her dried flowers, but she hadn’t felt inspired to do it in over a week.

  Every day, multiple times a day, she found herself lost in her mind, trying to figure out why she was so adamant that this guy not have any part in her life at all. And every night she would fall asleep wondering if he was sleeping, too, and if he would ever come back over.

  Thursday morning, she woke up ten minutes before her alarm went off. Enjoying the last chunk of time to relax before the day started, she sprawled out on the bed to stretch.

  A familiar sharp, cutting noise perked her ears up. It’s too early, she thought. He can’t be outside already. It’s barely 7:00.

  There it was again: the sound of hedge clippers. Before Cayden randomly appeared in her life, she cared nothing about what the clippers sounded like. Normally she just wanted everyone to shut off their lawn mowers. How could it take a whole hour to cut a little patch of grass? Then again, she had never cut grass before, so maybe it was harder than she suspected.

  But now she knew all the sounds, and almost didn’t mind them as much because it meant he was outside. So close to her house. So close to her.

  You really are going crazy, Lillian. She pushed herself up and faced the window. The air was chilly today. An old plaid shirt was draped on a coat hook; she pulled it over her shoulders, shivering just a little.

  As she walked down the hall the snip, snip was still audible, albeit barely. It was oddly comforting. Maybe it was the rhythm. Two snips, silence, one snip, silence, two snips. She scooped coffee into the filter, poured the water, and pressed the button.

  Snip. Snip.

  She didn’t walk to the door; she floated like she was in a dream. The paper was already thrown onto her sidewalk. Right now was perfect timing to get it and get a glimpse of him.

  She stepped out.

  Immediately he looked up. “Did I wake you?” he asked. The neighborhood was still so quiet that she could hear him even from over here.

  “No, I was awake.” This time she let a small smile come forth. “Didn’t you just cut those yesterday?”

  “Keeping up with my yard schedule, are you now?”

  No! No! “Oh...no, I just thought...”

  He laughed and held his hand up. “Take it easy, tiger. It’s too early to freak out. I was just kidding.”

  The mood had passed. She always messed up around him. People like him, people who were always so cool and collected, frustrated her. Why can’t I be like that?

  She picked up the newspaper. “Have a good day,” she told him, not willing to make a fool of herself any more than she already had.

  “What do you do?”

  “What do you do?”

  He flexed his bicep. “I’m a personal trainer. Over at Peter’s Gym.”

  “I’ve always thought that that’s the worst name for a
gym in the world,” she rolled her eyes. “Is that the best name they could come up with?”

  “Apparently, it’s after Peter, Paul, and Mary.” He snorted.

  “The only thing that could be worse than Peter’s Gym is Peter, Paul, and Mary’s Gym.” Just saying it cracked her up, and her humor caught up with Cayden.

  He composed himself and asked, “So what do you do?”

  Don’t get too personal, she heard the voice of caution. “I’m a personal organizer.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “I work with rich people. Help them organize their homes. De-clutter. That kind of thing.”

  “That’s definitely not a common job.”

  She shook her head. “No, it’s not.”

  “How did you get started?”

  “Maybe another time.” She winked, surprising herself. She had never winked at anyone before, at least not that she could remember. “I need to get ready. Heard my coffeemaker beep.”

  “Why are you so mysterious?”

  Nice try. “See you,” she said in almost a purr, and returned to the house.

  She envisioned he was watching her every step, memorizing the way the plaid shirt flowed around her body. She shivered at the thought. If only...

  THE WEATHER WAS BREWING low to the ground. A front was moving through; the days had gotten suddenly warm and the air had that stagnant feeling that meant a storm was on its way.

  As Lillian stepped into her backyard to retrieve some flowers she’d been clipping, the longer strands of grass whipped at her ankles.

  “You sure do grow fast.” She bent down, careful not to move too quickly. A sweet, earthy smell rose from the dirt. She plucked a handful of grass, rubbed it between her fingers, and lifted it to her nose. Something about it made her feel grounded. Solid.

  He would never let his grass get this long, she thought, casting a long glance over to the next house. His is cut so low it feels more like carpet than grass.

  Cayden’s house had been pretty quiet this week. Usually, she saw him outside for a couple of hours a day. She never had any clue what exactly he was doing, and she was hesitant to ask him even though she found the whole gardening thing oddly intriguing.

  For the last several days, though, she hadn’t seen him much.

  Maybe part of the reason had to deal with her growing business. One of her newer clients was being extra needy and called her at least three or four times every day, no matter how many times Lillian explained that she would answer all the questions next time they met. Another client contracted some dreadful illness and had to be on bed rest for two weeks before she saw any people. It screwed up Lillian’s weekly routine, so now she had to shift appointments around. Not a big deal, just some extra planning and rearranging. Not like my personal life has to be put on hold. Especially when there’s nothing to hold.

  Her eyes hurt from staring at the computer screen for such long periods of time, writing new pamphlets and figuring out how to schedule new clients without stressing herself too much. Just the idea of having more intense flare-ups made her feel almost physically sick.

  But finding that balance between adding more to her schedule and taking enough rest time was a whole other matter that was more difficult than she’d anticipated. She’d figure a way, she thought as she headed back into the house.

  Needless to say, with all the changes she hadn’t made peeking through the blinds to spy on the hot neighbor a priority.

  So many girls she knew—well, knew before—would’ve spared a few minutes for the eye candy. Sometimes Lillian felt like something was wrong with her because she didn’t make much space in her life for romantic escapades.

  She could hear her former roommate’s voice now, as clearly as if she were in the room: “Come on, Lil. What’s the harm in trying? Just experiment a little!”

  “Nah,” Lillian had said. “I’ve got shit to do and can’t let anyone keep me from it.”

  “A guy won’t keep you from it. He’ll make you feel better. I mean, look at you. You’re so uptight and stressed all the time. Couldn’t you use a little loosening up?”

  “I stretch every day and even have a glass of wine on the weekends. I’m plenty loose, Amelia.”

  Lillian caught herself staring into space, immersed in the flashback. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t pull herself out of it. Not yet.

  She remembered Amelia setting her jaw, then stomping over to the window and opening it. She stuck her head out and, much to Lillian’s horror, yelled down the ground. “Hey, Reg, tell my tight-wad roommate you’ll give her a drink on the house tonight!”

  I hate living above a nightclub. This one thought was the most vivid thing she remembered about the whole scenario. Aside from the fact it was above a nightclub, the apartment was in a less-than-ideal area of town. They had no choice; it was the only place within their budget. As soon as they’d moved in, Amelia made it a point to get friendly with all the bartenders and local patrons to secure herself a lifetime supply of free alcohol. She’d done it within a month.

  “What’s her problem?” Lillian heard a man’s voice float into the room from below.

  Amelia giggled like a little girl and shouted again, “She says she’s got shit to do. Just your average business-minded party pooper.”

  “I am not!” Lillian threw a pillow at her roommate.

  “Are too!”

  “Send her down tonight,” came Reg’s voice. “I’ll fix her up something special.”

  That sounded scary. “What does that mean?”

  Waving her hand nonchalantly, Amelia shook her head. “Don’t worry about it. Reg is a good guy. I’ll go with you. And if you really, really hate it, you can just come back up here, away from everything.”

  “Me? Not us?”

  “Hell no!” Amelia stood on a chair and shimmied her whole body. “I’m going to have fun tonight! It’s Saturday! If you want to spend tonight by yourself doing old-lady stuff, be my guest.”

  Old-lady stuff?

  As if she had read Lillian’s mind, Amelia half-turned and slapped her own butt. “I’m not going to have this forever, chica. May as well flaunt it while you’ve got it, right?”

  Lillian caught herself laughing out loud, almost startling herself at the sudden noise in her death-quiet house.

  Quiet.

  It was too quiet. Usually it didn’t bother her, especially when she was working. She needed total silence to focus, but she desperately needed a break right now.

  Too quiet.

  Frantically, she ran through the house searching for her little speaker. It was on a low shelf in the hall closet. She turned it on to see how much battery was left. Half. That was plenty. Grabbing her phone, she connected it and instantly the energy of the house shifted.

  Why don’t I use this more often? she wondered. This is really nice. Acoustic guitar sounds floated through the air and tickled her skin.

  Amelia had loved, and still loved, music like this.

  Feeling herself entering the memory again, she lowered herself onto the couch and lay down on her side, hugging a pillow. Black Cat jumped up and curled up between her legs and the back of the sofa.

  Flaunt it while you’ve got it. She hadn’t thought of it like that before.

  The night had come quicker than ever before. It seemed the more she wished it wouldn’t arrive the more time sped up, and suddenly it was 10 p.m.

  “Time to go down!” Amelia’s voice echoed through the apartment.

  Lillian thought about hiding, but knew it was a ridiculous thought.

  She heard Amelia’s footsteps coming closer, the rapid tap tap tap of her heels against the fake wooden floorboards. Her roommate stopped at the door. “Where’s your makeup?”

  Lillian shrank back. “I...don’t know.”

  “Girl, you can’t go down on a Saturday night with no makeup. It’s part of the ritual, not because you don’t look good enough already.” She hopped forward and pulled Lillian to her feet, then pu
shed her into the bathroom. Before Lillian knew what was happening, Amelia was stretching her eyelid upward.

  “Don’t blink,” she commanded, and proceeded to layer mascara onto Lillian’s eyelashes.

  “I can’t remember the last time I wore makeup,” Lillian murmured, embarrassed. “Maybe last month.”

  “That’s what happens when you stay up here all the time, working on whatever you’re doing.”

  Lillian frowned. “I do leave the apartment, you know. Like a normal human being.”

  “Yeah, but you don’t have a boyfriend, so there’s no reason for you to put on makeup.” Amelia winked. Lillian opened her mouth to protest, but her roommate interrupted her before she could say anything. “I know, I know. You put on makeup for yourself, not for a guy. But the guy definitely helps, since there are dates involved.”

  “Can’t argue with that,” replied Lillian.

  “Dates...among other things involved. Like leaving a lipstick smudge. Or ring.” She winked wickedly.

  With a joking gasp, Lillian gently pushed her roommate back. “You’re scandalous! Get out of my house.”

  “Who knows, maybe tonight will be your lucky night! Pucker your lips. You’re wearing this red color tonight.”

  “Oh, stop it. I’m just going down to have a drink with you. I don’t have time for guys.”

  Sitting back to observe her three-minute makeup job, Amelia’s pleased expression slowly melted into a smirk. “We’ll see about that.”

  And something did happen that night.

  Lillian tugged herself back into the present. She still lay on her side, feeling the heat from Black Cat’s sleeping body warm her legs. When she propped herself up on her elbow, a tear fell from the corner of her eye.

  The memories kept trying to push themselves into her mental vision, but she shoved them back down. What should have been a fun night turned out to be a time that still caused her pain. If she managed to go a day without letting her mind wander into the past, she considered it a victory. Today was not a victory; any memory of Amelia ripped open old wounds.

  “I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it,” she whispered to the air, so softly she couldn’t even hear herself. She sat up and pulled Black Cat onto her lap, hugging him tightly. He looked at her sleepily with his lemon-yellow eyes.