Submit (Out of the Octagon, #1) Read online

  He shook his head, bringing himself back to the conversation, an unfamiliar warmth in his chest. “It’s on 138th and Willis. I’ll wait outside.”

  It wasn’t a long walk. Actually, it felt too short. He arrived well before she had agreed to meet him, and the wait seemed endless. Cabs flew past, none stopping. When a Lincoln Town Car pulled up, he barely gave it a glance, pacing back down the sidewalk. He had the overwhelming urge for a cigarette, although he’d given them up years ago, after Frank had mocked him during a fit of coughing following a training session.

  “Aedan?”

  He spun around. Rosa was standing on the sidewalk, in a simple green dress that took his breath away. “Hey...” He watched the Lincoln glide away from the curb before turning back to Rosa. Just how rich was she?

  “Hey, yourself.” She walked toward him and he folded her into his arms, his lips finding hers, no hesitation from either of them. Wrapped up in each other, they lingered there on the sidewalk until the sound of footsteps pulled them apart. Aedan opened his eyes, looking past Rosa’s blonde hair. When he saw the way their eyes lingered on her, he pulled away enough to move her behind him, instantly bristling, on guard.

  “Hey...nice chocha, dude.” The leader leered at them. “You wanna share?”

  Aedan took a step forward, his body relaxed, weight on his back foot, arms loose, hands forming into fists. He looked the first guy in the eye. The guy was a little shorter than Aedan, solid looking, but pudgy, soft in the middle maybe. “You really don’t want to start this, you know? Just leave us alone, we’ll all be much happier.” His voice was low, calm. He spoke without ever breaking eye contact.

  The second guy stepped up behind his friend. He was taller, leaner, a little meaner looking. His thin lips were drawn into a sneer. “You telling us we can’t walk down the sidewalk, cabrón?”

  “No, man. Just telling you that you really don’t want to start anything.” Aedan took another step forward. Then he felt Rosa’s hand on his arm.

  “Aedan...”

  There was fear in her voice. He held his ground, smiling down at the shorter man, eyes flashing between the other two. “Yeah...not worth the effort.”

  Without turning his back, he reached for Rosa, steering her toward the door of the small restaurant. The men watched him from the sidewalk as he escorted her inside.

  The door closed behind them and he ushered Rosa toward the small dining area, away from the bar, nodding to the waitress who appeared to seat them. He spoke a few words and they were seated at a table near the back.

  Rosa sat watching him, apparently waiting for the waitress to finish filling their water glasses and take their drink order before speaking. “Aedan...what was that? Why?” She waved her hand. “I’m not sure how to ask this...”

  Aedan took a sip of water. “You want to know why everytime we’re together there’s a fight?” He looked at her levelly.

  “Well, yes. I guess. I mean...the first time...”

  “The first time I came along at the right time.”

  Rosa nodded. “Yes, but. Out there...”

  “Would you rather I just let them talk about you like that? Not do anything?”

  “I don’t know what they said, really.” She made a face at him.

  “You don’t want to know.” He reached across the table, taking her hand. “Listen. Nothing happened. I don’t go looking for trouble, Rosa, but I know how to take care of myself, and I can take care of you. Most guys will back down anyway if they think I know what I’m doing.”

  “And do you? I mean, know what you’re doing?”

  Aedan smiled. “Yes.” He was tracing circles on the palm of her hand, watching her eyes grow wide, lips parted. He smiled to himself. It works every time. “It’s part of my life, Rosa.”

  “You mean training at the gym?” Her voice was softer now, the edge of fear gone.

  “Not just that. I’ve been fighting, in some form or other, most of my life.”

  “Why?” She looked across the table at him, a look of genuine interest on her face.

  Aedan lost himself for a minute in those green eyes. He’d never been this comfortable with a woman; he felt himself wanting to open up to her, to tell her about himself. But his innate caution made him pull away. He shrugged, letting go of her hand, sitting back in his chair. The waitress appeared, leaving Aedan’s beer and Rosa’s soda. She took their order, Aedan ordering for both of them.

  “You haven’t eaten yet?” Rosa looked surprised. “I’m sorry. I didn’t—it didn’t occur to me that you hadn’t eaten.” She sighed. “I’m still full from dinner though.”

  “It’s okay. I eat a lot anyway. Whatever you don’t want, I’ll eat.” Tipping his beer, he took a healthy swallow. When he looked up, Rosa was still watching him, a smile curling the corners of her mouth.

  “You know, you’re not getting off the hook that easy, Aedan. You still haven’t answered my question. Why?”

  Her eyes were intent. Under that kind of scrutiny, from anyone else, he would have balked, bristled at the implied intrusion. But here, with Rosa, if he were capable, he would have blushed.

  “There’s been a lot of...drama in my life. From back when I was a kid. It’s hard to talk about sometimes...all the time.” He took another swallow of beer, picking at the label with his thumbnail, and didn’t meet her eyes.

  Rosa reached across the table, taking his hand without speaking, her fingers wrapped around his. He looked down at her small hand in his, trusting and sincere. And something opened up inside him, a tiny crack appearing in the walls he’d built up over the years.

  “My mother is—was—an alcoholic. My dad left when I was just a kid. For a long time, until I was eight, maybe, it was just her and me. Just the two of us, you know? It was hard but she managed to hold it together. She was a fighter, well as best as she could fight. Then a few years later she was in a car accident, had some kind of injury that never healed right. Got addicted to pain pills for a time...maybe still is, I’m not sure. Then alcohol.” He stopped, taking a breath. Rosa still held his hand. “She met a guy named Jim. I was, I don’t know, maybe ten or eleven. I think she met him at a bar, I’m not really sure. She never said. Anyway, he was just always there, like a one-night stand who never went home. It all seemed great. He had a job, my mom was happy, we had food. They decided to get married.”

  Aedan’s voice dropped. His eyes were focused on Rosa’s hand in his.

  “And...?” she said almost so quiet that he wasn’t sure she’d even said it.

  “I thought we’d be one happy family. But the day after the wedding, he beat her up real bad. Knocked her against the wall. I tried to make him quit hitting her...”

  The waitress was at their table with their food. Aedan stopped, abruptly pulling his hand away from Rosa. They both sat back, he staring at the table, she looking pensive at the window.

  They were silent until the waitress came and arranged their dishes and Aedan ordered another beer.

  He looked at Rosa with a small smile, shaking his head. “It doesn’t get any better. I don’t want to ruin your dinner with the rest of the story.” He picked up his fork, poking at his food. After a moment he looked up. Rosa was still looking at him, a shimmer of tears in her eyes.

  “I’m sorry, Aedan.”

  He frowned. “I’m not looking for pity.” Even to his ears his voice sounded harsh. He tried again, attempting to control the roiling emotions inside. “That’s not why I told you. It’s ancient history. I don’t need you feeling sorry for me.”

  Rosa’s hand slid across the table, fingers brushing his hand. “It’s not pity, Aedan. I’m sorry you had to go through whatever it was you’ve gone through. But I don’t pity you, or feel sorry for you. We don’t have to talk about it now, if you don’t want to.”

  They ate in silence for a time, Aedan lost in his own thoughts. She was sorry? It wasn’t her fault. She hadn’t caused the pain in his life. Yet, here she was, apologizing for the bad stuff. She
was one of a kind. Unique, in every way beautiful. Finally he took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly. Rosa looked up at him. “I’m sorry, Rosa. It’s just...no one’s ever cared to ask...or cared at all. About any of this.” He gave her a lopsided grin, spreading his hands on the table. “You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met, Rosa. There’s something about you that makes me feel things I haven’t felt for a long time. Maybe ever. This is all new for me.” And I barely know you.

  She returned his smile. “You’re certainly not like anyone I’ve ever met before either.”

  “Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?” His grin turned into his charming smile. He watched her face, waiting for the reaction. And there it was; that pretty blush that crept up her cheeks, the light in her eyes, the tilt of her head that swung that shimmering curtain of hair across her face.

  “It’s a very good thing.” Her voice was almost a whisper as she looked up at him through her lashes.

  His smile deepened. “Okay. Now your turn. Something about you...I know you live with your parents.”

  Rosa nodded, toying with the food on her plate. “I live at home now. I have for the past six months or so. Before that I was at Columbia, living in my own apartment.” Her eyes grew small, creased at the corners. “As soon as I graduated, my mother insisted I move back home. She was probably horrified at the thought that I would fall prey to bad influences or bad men or something. Or...let’s be honest here. I think she’s really just a control freak, wants to keep an eye on where I go, what I do. She likes to control me, my dad. Anyone or anything she can.” She pressed her lips in an almost pout. It was sexy though, not childish. “Like tonight, dinner with the Prestons and Thomas, even though she knows we broke up...” Rosa’s eyes widened, a blush creeping up her cheeks. She dropped her head and made herself busy with her food, pushing it around on her plate.

  Aedan watched her. This was what she didn’t want to tell me earlier...I knew there was something. “Thomas? As in the recently broken-up-with boyfriend?” Please don’t let it be last night broken up. No. She mentioned it before we... well, before we technically hooked up. Wait a friggin’ minute. She had dinner with the dude? And his family?

  Rosa nodded, still not looking up.

  Aedan’s voice rose sharply. “You had dinner with him? That’s why you wanted to break our date?” He sat back, tossing his fork onto the plate. It clattered against the edge, skidding onto the table.

  Rosa jumped, her face flushing crimson. “Well, yes...but...” She stared at him, her eyes wide. “I didn’t have a choice.” Her voice was small, almost a whisper.

  “Did you tell your parents you had plans. That you had a date?” Aedan could feel his temper rising and as much as he wanted to drop this, something wouldn’t let him. He’d trusted this girl, told her more than he’d ever told anyone. He’d broken his own code: trust no one. And she couldn’t be bothered to tell the truth. He ignored the stab of jealousy racing through him. This was about trust, not jealousy.

  “I did. But...you don’t understand my mother. How she controls everything. Aedan, you have to know—have to believe me, if I could, I’d have never sat through that dinner.” She leaned forward, reaching for his hand.

  He pulled it away, grabbing his beer, taking a swallow. “How old are you?” He watched her blink in surprise, perversely pleased that he’d shocked her.

  “Pardon?” She frowned at him.

  “How old are you? Over eighteen? Over twenty-one? You’re an adult, right?” He could hear himself driving at her, heard the angry edge in his voice. Stop...stop this now. Before you push her away. But he kept after her. “You’re old enough to make your own decisions, live your own life, right? You friggin’ need to grow up a little. Why do you—”

  And then he saw the tears in her eyes. His heart lurched in his chest, his anger suddenly gone, as if someone had burst a balloon with a pin.

  “I’m sorry.” He closed his eyes, drawing a deep breath.

  She was watching him, her eyes wide, tears hovering at the edge but not spilling over. “Aedan, you just don’t understand.” She shook her head before getting up abruptly. “I have to go to the washroom.” She left without another word.

  Aedan sat waiting, wanting to bang his head on the table. Such a tough guy; such a fool.

  When she came back to the table, he stood quickly, pulling her to him. She resisted, her body tense, but he persisted. Eventually she relaxed enough for him to hug her, but she did nothing more than wrap her arms around him. She didn’t return his embrace.

  “Rosa...” He tipped her chin up, looking down at her. He could see the hurt in her eyes. “Angel, I’m so sorry. So very sorry. This—what happened tonight—it wasn’t your fault.” He kissed her forehead.

  “What did you call me?” She took a step back, frowning at him.

  “Rosa...your name. Why?”

  She shook her head. “Nothing. Look, I think I’ll call for a car and go home now.” She looked ready to run away from him. She shifted her weight to her other foot and turned politely to him. “Thank you for dinner, Aedan. I’m sorry I disappointed you.”

  Chapter 6

  For the first time in a long time, Aedan panicked. She was rummaging in her purse for her cell phone. He felt like he had when he was learning to fight, when he lost control and his opponent had him up against the ropes. He’d lost control with Rosa and now he was losing her.

  “Wait. Please. Just- Come home with me.” He knew he sounded desperate, but he didn’t care.

  She tossed him a look, her eyes flashing.

  He shook his head. “Not for that...to talk. Please. I was out of line.”

  Rosa hesitated a moment before dropping her phone back in her purse. He saw her eyes soften, the scowl leave her face.

  “Just to talk.” She smiled, a tentative movement at the corners of her mouth.

  “Maybe you should talk and I’ll just keep my mouth shut. Shouldn’t be too hard, my foot’s already in it.”

  Her smile widened. Shyly she stepped toward him, her arms going around his waist. Her eyes searched his. “As long as you actually mean it. Not the foot thing. I mean to talk. And that you’re not angry. If you’re just saying it because you think it’s something you should say...”

  More than anything Aedan wanted to pull her against him, but he resisted. Barely. He smiled at her, kissing her quickly. “I mean it. Let’s get a cab.” He got the rest of their food to go and hailed a cab. He briefly wondering if the two guys from earlier were still around, but didn’t have to worry. They’d already moved on to somewhere else.

  They were silent on the ride to his apartment, Aedan’s arm around Rosa. She rested her head on his shoulder, and the image of carrying her to his bed flooded through his mind.

  He let them into his apartment, tossing his keys on the kitchen table before opening the refrigerator door and tossing the food inside. “You want something to drink? I have some beer, I think some kind of wine...” He glanced up at her. She was standing on the other side of the refrigerator door, shaking her head. He tilted his head at her.

  “What? You look like you have something to say.” He leaned on the refrigerator door, watching her.

  She took a step forward, leaned over and kissed him over the door. “I don’t want anything to drink. I want you.”

  Aedan’s eyebrows rose in surprise. There weren’t many women who could surprise him, but Rosa certainly had. “I thought you were mad at me, for what happened in the taqueria.”

  “I am. I should be...” She smiled at him, a teasing grin, covering something deeper.

  Aedan closed the door, reaching for her. Rosa came to him willingly, suddenly, her body pressed against his. “You’re a complicated girl, Rosa.”

  She laughed. “I’m learning from you.”

  He took her to his bedroom. In the dim light he undressed her, her hair crackling with static as he pulled her dress over her head, leaving her in her pale lacy underwear and bra. It was almost with reveren
ce that he undid the clasp to her bra, sliding the satin of her panties over her skin, watching them fall to the floor.

  His eyes took in every detail of her, standing in his shadowy room; the fullness of her breasts, her hips gently flaring out from her narrow waist. There had been so many girls...women who had been in this same spot, so many he’d taken to bed. But none had triggered this feeling in the pit of his stomach, a giddy sensation, like the first dip on a rollercoaster.

  But it had been a long time since he’d been on a rollercoaster and he wasn’t a kid anymore; this was no game. He was almost overwhelmed by his feelings, most of which scared the hell out of him. But not enough to walk away from Rosa.

  That same helpless desire to hold her against him, to feel her breasts against his chest, wind his fingers in her hair overcame him and he pulled her to him.

  “Aedan...” She looked up, her eyes soft in the dark, a question in her voice. Her hands had been undoing the buttons on his shirt and she stopped, holding on to the fabric.

  “You’re just so beautiful...Sorry. That’s such a predictable thing to say. But you are.” He caressed her face. “But I’m sure you hear that all the time.”

  She dropped her eyes, suddenly busy with the buttons again, her hair across her face. “No, not really. Or...I never believe them.”

  Aedan lifted her chin. “You are. Why not believe them?”

  “Maybe I don’t trust them? Not sure. Guys...They aren’t- They haven’t always been that honest with me.”

  “Then they’re idiots.” He kissed her, her lips soft beneath his. “Do you trust me?”

  “Yes...” That breathless voice. His heart beat faster, his body suffused with arousal, his erection straining against his jeans.

  She stepped away from him, hands moving to the front of his pants, pulling the snap and tugging down the zipper. There was no hesitation tonight, no accidental brushes; she was confident in her movements, her hands pulling back his jeans, reaching eagerly for him.