Primals Read online

  Clarissa’s alive.

  “I’m glad you survived,” I tell her, looking into her eyes, thanking the stars I’d been given the chance to do just that. “I thought you were dead.”

  “I know.” She sighs, and her eyes grow sad. “I could easily have died. Teresa and the pilot did. Frankly, I don’t know how I survived.”

  “What matters is you did.” I pull her into my arms again. “I don’t know what I would have done if I lost my best friend.”

  She pulls away. “Wait. They didn’t tell you I was alive?”

  “No.” I shake my head, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “You called?”

  “Yes.” She nods. “As soon as I got to Anchorage. I would have called sooner but you have no idea how hard it is to get to a phone here.”

  “Well, I left the Lab as soon as I found out about the accident,” I explain. “I was at the airport waiting for a flight. Several were cancelled because of the storm. I had to wait for hours before I could get a seat out.” I’m just now realizing that if I’d waited only a few more hours, I would have gotten her call and realized that everything was going to be OK. It could have saved me the absolute panic of the last several days.

  “I was trying to call you.”

  “You were?” I get my phone out of the pocket of my jacket but I already know what I’m going to find. “Dead.” I’d left my charger at home. I’d meant to get one at the airport, but then I’d spaced it until now.

  Besides, with her gone, who else would have called me?

  “It died while I was at the airport. I was too worried to notice.”

  “It’s fine.” She places a hand on my cheek. “I’m glad you’re here. I’m so glad to see you.”

  “Not as glad as I am to see you.” I place my hand over hers. Intimate. A look passes between us that feels more than friends. Suddenly awkward, I step back, letting my hand fall to my side. I’m realizing that my whole greeting has been...a little over the top. Certainly more than I’d intended to let her see.

  She smiles, not seeming to notice. “So, how soon do we leave?”

  “Leave?” My eyebrows rise.

  “You are taking me back home, aren’t you?” She tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I mean I know the Lab sent someone to fetch me but they’re taking so long and I’m sure they’ll still have stuff to do here when they arrive. I want to go home, Kyle.”

  The plea in her eyes, echoing the one in her voice, melts whatever resolve I might have had..

  Poor Clarissa. She might still be able to smile but I’m sure she’s hurting. And she might have survived, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t go through hell.

  The deepest cuts are the ones the eyes cannot see.

  “Alright.” I follow her, not letting go of her hand. “Let’s get you home.”

  “I’M SORRY WE HAVE TO wait until tomorrow,” I tell Clarissa as I drape my coat over the back of a chair in the hotel room. “You’re sure your copy of your ID will be here then?”

  Neither of us had thought this through very well. We’d both had the assumption that with everything she’d gone through she could just fly home. But in this present age there was no way security was going to give her a free pass to fly. Apparently, the bodies had been recovered from the plane, but it looked like an animal had torn through there. Things were missing. Her purse hadn’t been a high priority. But without proof of who she was, no one was letting her on an airplane.

  “It’s supposed to be. They were supposed to FedEx the copies to the police station,” Clarissa says as she sits on the edge of the bed, though I can still sense her disappointment. “We’ll leave tomorrow. It’s not like it’s the end of the world to stick around another day.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to order room service?” I sit beside her. “You barely ate at the restaurant earlier.”

  She shakes her head. “I’m not hungry right now. You know me. Sometimes, I eat like a bird and sometimes...”

  “Like a shark,” I finish for her. She still looks sad and vulnerable. I want to place my hand over hers, but I’m not sure the gesture would be welcome. She’d made it clear years ago that what we had was...strictly platonic. At least from her side. I sigh a little, careful to keep my distance. “I’m just worried about you, I guess. You’ve been through a lot.”

  “That’s an understatement.”

  She lets out a sigh as she lies down on top of the bed, staring at the ceiling.

  “You know you can tell me anything, right? It might help.”

  She lifts her hand above her, staring at it. “Kyle?”

  “Yes?”

  “Do you think I’m special?”

  The question takes me by surprise. I scratch my head and look away, hoping to hide the blush that coats my cheeks. Did she finally realize I’m still in love with her? I confessed years ago, but she’d made her position clear. We’d never spoken of it again.

  Is she planning to force a confession out of me? To admit that my feelings never changed?

  Well, I did promise myself that if she survived, I’d tell her about my feelings. But...

  “I mean, do you think I’m different? Like as a person? A human?”

  Oh, that.

  I replace my hand on my lap.

  “Of course. You’re unlike anyone I know.”

  She sits up and looks at me with interest. “How so?”

  “Well...” I rub my nape. “You’re smart but you don’t brag about it. You’re nice to everyone but you don’t want to be popular...”

  You’re beautiful but you don’t know it.

  “Do you think I’m weird?”

  “Weird?” I sit on the edge of the opposite bed. “You know most people at the Lab are weird. We’re scientists. Geeks.”

  “Right.” She nods, rubbing her arms. “So, you don’t think I’m an alien or something?”

  “An alien?” I chuckle. “Well, you still have a weird imagination. That’s for sure.”

  But she doesn’t laugh, her expression still all serious. “You once thought I could talk to animals or read their minds, didn’t you?”

  “I was just joking.” I stare at my hands. If I look at her now I might give away what’s in my heart. It’s easier to hide. “I was just jealous of how close you were to them.”

  When I glance up I see her eyes widen.

  “Oh, don’t mind me. See, I’m weird like you.”

  I stand up, heading to the mini-bar to get a bottle of water. Right now, I don’t even care what it costs. I need the distraction, something to do.

  “So, just to be clear, you don’t think I’m an alien or something not human?”

  I turn around, bottle in hand, mystified by this turn in conversation. “To be clear, no. I don’t.”

  “It’s just that after that plane crash, I...” She pauses, taking a deep breath. “Never mind.”

  After the plane crash, what? Clarissa sure is acting strange, maybe a little more strange than usual, but as an idea dawns on me, I understand.

  “Oh, I get it.” I sit beside her and this time I do take her hand. As a friend. “You’re wondering why you survived. You think it’s unusual that you’re the only one who did and that you don’t even have a scratch.”

  Her eyes meet mine. “That’s it.”

  “And you feel guilty about it. That’s why you’re getting these weird ideas about being an alien and all.” I touch her cheek. “But you shouldn’t feel guilty about surviving or living. No one should. Clarissa, there’s a reason you survived.”

  She looks away. “That’s what I thought. That’s what scares me.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I don’t know the reason!” she snaps at me.

  I stare at her, stunned by her response.

  “Sorry,” Clarissa lowers her voice as she rubs her arm. “I didn’t mean to...”

  “It’s okay.” I drop her hand and open my water bottle. “I’m here to support you in any way I can. And listen, I know it’s scar
y that you’ll always have to wonder why you survived from now on, wondering if you should have, wondering what greater purpose you might have and worrying that you might not fulfill it. But for me, I’m just glad you’re alive. I was so scared when I thought you were gone.”

  Her eyes widen. “You were?”

  I nod. “Of course I was. And I’m sure your parents, well, Henry and Molly, felt the same, and all the people who care about you. Who cares whether you have a greater purpose or not? If you do, we’ll find it. If you don’t, that’s fine. Maybe your purpose is to just keep being in our lives. That may not mean much to you but that makes a great deal of difference to us.”

  For a moment, she’s silent, still. Then she reaches out and squeezes my hand.

  “I’m sorry for making you worry, Kyle.” She sighs. “And for snapping at you.”

  “It’s fine,” I assure her, ready to forgive her anything. After all, she’s gone through a lot. “You don’t have to apologize. You must be tired.”

  Clarissa pulls her hand away, burrowing under the sheets. “Things have just been so crazy lately.”

  “I know.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  “You can talk to me,” I reiterate my earlier offer.

  She shakes her head, pulling the sheet up to her chin. “I don’t want any more depressing talk. What about you tell me something nice, something that happened while I was gone?”

  I shake mine in turn. “Nothing happened, really.”

  “What did you do?”

  “The usual. Oh, I stopped by to visit your pets by the way.”

  “Really?” Her face lights up. “How were they?”

  I set the bottle down on the nightstand and move closer to her.

  “Well, Cheshire tried to scratch me as usual,” I tell her. “After all this time, she still doesn’t trust me. Then again, she doesn’t trust anyone except you.”

  “She is feisty.”

  “Feisty?” I snort. “She makes the other cats from ‘My Cat From Hell’ seem like spayed newborn kittens.”

  Clarissa chuckles and I smile at hearing the sound.

  “What about the others?”

  “Speedy didn’t care that I was there,” I go on. “He was just sitting on his perch. And your fishes were just in their aquarium, swimming around.”

  “Yup. Sounds like them.”

  “It’s your dogs that miss you. When I went to your apartment, Ellie and Royce seemed disappointed that I wasn’t you. If they could talk, they’d ask me where you were. And they were glad to be fed the treats I brought, but afterwards, they looked sad.”

  Clarissa frowns. “I miss them, too.”

  “See, there’s your purpose.” I put my hand on hers again. “You’re the world to them.”

  “Yeah, I guess. I should get home to them soon. They must be so lonely.”

  “Oh, don’t worry. The service is doing a great job of things. I know for a fact that the girl that comes by spends ages just playing with them. My neighbor saw her at the park with your dogs. She said they were having the time of their lives.”

  “Bless her.”

  “Yeah.” I nod. “Nothing like old Mrs. Aster. Remember when she wanted to watch them when you went out of town last?”

  “Your old landlady? The one with a thousand and one rules and superstitions?”

  “That’s her.”

  “What was that superstition she had again about glasses?” she asks.

  “A broken glass on a Friday brings seven years of bad luck. That’s why all her glasses are plastic and she insists all her tenants have the same.”

  “Unbelievable.” Clarissa shakes her head. “Still, her husband left her.”

  “Well, he’s not the only one who left her. Most of her tenants do.”

  “So did you. And now, you have a neighbor who has a crush on you.”

  I frown. “Sally does not have a crush on me.”

  “Yes, she does.”

  I roll my eyes. We’ve been through this so many times before I’ve lost count.

  “How would you know?”

  “I told you. I can tell when a person has a crush on someone.”

  And yet, she can’t tell I’m in love with her. Or maybe she’s just pretending not to know. Or is choosing not to.

  I squeeze her hand. “You’re tired. You should sleep.”

  “You’re changing the subject,” she argues but she yawns telling me that I’m right. She’s exhausted.

  “Because it’s old.”

  I get up but she grabs my hand. I turn my head, finding a plea in her eyes again.

  “Please...stay. Hold my hand until I fall asleep?”

  I stare at her a long moment. It’s stuff like that that’s playing with fire. I have no business sitting next to her while she sleeps. But who am I to deny her? “Yeah, sure.” I sit on the bed and reach for her hand.

  She smiles, turning on her side. “You’re a great friend, Kyle. The best.”

  “I know.”

  Unfortunately, that’s no longer good enough for me. It hasn’t been for a very long time.

  I say nothing, though, deciding that now isn’t the time since she’s still recovering. I just hold her hand until her grip on mine relaxes, until she starts snoring softly.

  Even then, I don’t let go. Instead, I press her hand to my lips. Then I slip under the covers next to her, watching her sleep until my own eyelids fall shut.

  Don’t worry, Clarissa. I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here.

  “THEY’RE HERE,” CLARISSA says, her voice filled with alarm as she shakes me.

  I sit up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, her panic bringing me fully awake. “Who’s here?”

  She doesn’t answer, her face pale.

  I hear the footsteps approaching in the hallway. Another guest? But when I glance at Clarissa, wondering who might be coming for her, I see her frozen like a statue, terrified. I get out of bed and draw her with me. I don’t know why I do it, but I hide her behind the curtain. It feels safer somehow, to have her tucked out of sight.

  Then I grab a weapon – the lamp on the desk – ready to swipe it or throw it at someone.

  As the knob on the door rattles, I hold my breath. I glance at the phone, wondering if I should call someone but before I can go near it, the door slams open and two men, one massive and the other with a dark scowl upon his face appear in the doorway.

  Neither of which I stand a chance against. Still, for Clarissa’s sake, I have to try.

  Swallowing the lump in my throat, I lift the lamp in my hands.

  “Stop!”

  Chapter Nine

  ~ Clarissa

  “STOP IT, ALL OF YOU!”

  I stand in the middle of the room, my fists clenched at my sides.

  For a moment, they all stand still, only their hearts making a sound. Funny how I can hear all of them, a symphony of drums, each with a unique pattern, a unique rhythm. Then Kyle moves, putting the lamp back on the desk real slow, cautious. As though somehow, on some level he knows he’s dealing with wild animals and how dangerous a fast move would be.

  “Hello, Clarissa,” Sebastian greets me, his tone mocking as he locks the door behind him. “How have you been?”

  I raise an eyebrow. I’ve gone from terror to...whatever the hell this is so many times that I have no idea what I feel anymore. “What? Now, you’re being nice?”

  Theo glares at Sebastian. “What did you do to her?”

  “Saved her life, for one,” he answers, eyes narrowed at me.

  “Really?” I put my hands on my hips. “Are you sure? Because the last time I checked, I didn’t need saving.”

  “Yet you asked me for help, begged me for help,” Sebastian points out. “And so, I pulled you out of that wreckage before it exploded, treated your wounds, gave you shelter from the storm.”

  “The cabin you stayed at was his?” Theo asks.

  I don’t answer him, my gaze on Sebastian.

  “Fine
.” I shrug. “You helped me but you also locked me up, remember? Like some wild animal?”

  “What?” Theo’s eyes grow wide.

  “Wait.” Kyle stands beside me. The poor man is a mass of confusion. I might not be able to read his mind, but right now I don’t need to. It’s coming off him in waves. “You know these...people?”

  I touch my forehead. “Unfortunately.”

  Theo’s face falls.

  Shit.

  “Who are you?” Sebastian asks as though noticing him for the first time.

  Kyle ignores him, turning to me. “Are they why you wanted to leave Anchorage so soon?”

  “Yes,” I confess, then turn to Theo. “I’m sorry, Theo. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I just...I saw what you turned into, what you both turned into.” I glance at Sebastian. “And I just had to stay away.”

  “I understand,” Theo says, head bowed. Then he looks at Sebastian, his eyes dark, positively glowering. “This is all your fault.”

  “Mine?” Sebastian points to himself.

  “You morphed first,” he points out.

  “You attacked first,” Sebastian growls.

  “Attacked? Morphed?” Kyle asks. “Clarissa, who are they?” His voice is rising higher the more questions he asks that don’t get answered. I take pity on him and sit on the edge of the bed, running my hands through my hair.

  “Fine. Let’s start with introductions.” I point to Sebastian. “This is Sebastian. I saw him turn into a wolf.”

  “What?” Kyle’s jaw drops.

  Sebastian frowns.

  Are you sure you can trust this man?

  I glare at him. More than I can trust you. And stay out of my head.

  “And this is Theo.” I gesture to Theo. “He turned into a bear, which isn’t surprising, I guess, since he seems to like bears a lot.”

  Theo gives a sheepish grin. “That obvious, huh?”

  “And this is Kyle.” I grab Kyle’s arm. “He’s a colleague from work, and my best friend.”

  Sebastian’s forehead creases. Best friend? I can hear the snark from here. I give him a look. I’m not warning him again.