Fix Me Read online

  When I arrived at Austin’s, I was ushered into a spare room, stripped down to my boxers and stuffed into a tux. All the while, an old, Italian man complained about being rushed to do his job. Austin popped his head in and burst into laughter. “We’re even after this,” I growled.

  He wrinkled his nose. “Maybe.”

  “Do you want a drink?” he asked.

  “No. I’m staying sober. I can’t be dragging my ass in all hungover again.”

  “How much longer, Dino?” Austin asked.

  The old guy stood up and cursed in Italian. “I’m the guy standing here. Please don’t anger the man with the needles near my junk.”

  He laughed and walked away. I stood completely still while the man finished the measuring of my inseam. Then he shooed me away, mumbling something about needing thirty minutes. I pulled on my shorts and walked out of the room.

  I found Austin lounging in the living room, a drink in his hand as he watched some home makeover show. I was about to sit down and wait for the tailor when my phone rang. I checked the screen, expecting it to be my mother. It wasn’t her.

  “Hello?” I answered with surprise. “Ellis?”

  “Hi Luke.”

  “What’s up?”

  “Are you free?” she asked.

  “When?”

  “Now or tomorrow,” she answered.

  I hesitated. Bree wasn’t in a good place. I didn’t want to give her anything more to be worried about. “What’s going on?” I asked instead of giving her an answer.

  “Can’t I ask a friend out for coffee?” she asked, with a great deal of flirtation in her voice.

  I winced, turning my back to Austin. “I’m working tomorrow and I’m going to a benefit tonight.”

  “Oh, well, maybe this weekend. I was hoping we could catch up a little more. You can fill me in on the progress with Bree.”

  This was awkward, but I didn’t want to be rude. Ellis was a friend, but I was picking up on something more than just friends. Ellis was an attractive woman and ten years ago I would have jumped at the chance to date her, but not now. I wanted Bree. I didn’t want to give Bree anything to worry about, either.

  I cleared my throat. “Ellis, I should have been a little clearer about the situation. Bree and I are together. It would be great for you to have a conversation with her if you’d like to see how she’s feeling about the surgery.”

  Closing my eyes, and hoping I didn’t come across as rude, I had to weigh the outcome. Bree was my priority. I didn’t want to alienate Ellis, but if that was the cost, so be it.

  “Okay then,” she said coolly. “I’ll reach out to Bree again. I should mention that I plan on going to Chicago soon.”

  I grimaced, feeling Bree’s opportunity to get the surgery slipping away. “I’ll let her know. Are you still willing to do the surgery?”

  “Absolutely!” she exclaimed. “I’ve been consulting with my friend and we’re excited to do the surgery if she is willing.”

  “Thank you,” I said with relief. “I’ll let you know.”

  “Have a good night,” Ellis said, and ended the call.

  I felt like a dick. Blowing out a breath, I took a seat in the oversized chair in the room. Austin raised an eyebrow. “What was that all about?”

  “An old friend asking me out to coffee.”

  “You shut her down,” he stated.

  “I did.”

  “Why? You looked like you were in physical pain.”

  I smiled. “She is an old friend. A really old friend and if I wasn’t interested in Bree, I probably would have been okay with it. But I am and I don’t want to give Bree anything to worry about.”

  He took a long drink from his glass. “Your client is your girlfriend?”

  I tried to think of another way to say it. “Yes. Basically, yes.”

  “The blind woman?” he clarified.

  “Yes.”

  “And the other woman?”

  “The doctor who is offering Bree the chance to see again with a somewhat experimental surgery.”

  He let out a long whistle. “Damn, you sure know how to get yourself tangled up in the shit.”

  I smirked. “I suppose I do.”

  “What does Bree have over the doctor? You seem to be in a bit of a tough situation with Bree. Isn’t that a lot of baggage?”

  “No.”

  I didn’t see Bree as baggage or damaged goods. She was beautiful and fun, and I loved being with her. There was some drama, but I was confident I could work through it with her. I did understand why she was so insecure now. Austin’s suggestion that she was too much work was exactly what she thought about herself. She didn’t think she was good enough. She worried what others would think, worried people would see her as the burden.

  People didn’t see the woman behind the blindness. They only saw her impairment and not the woman that she really was. I wasn’t sure I could protect her from that kind of judgement.

  “You’re into her,” Austin stated.

  “More than I thought was ever possible.”

  “Is this one of those situations where you are drawn to the damaged woman like some women are drawn to the broken men?”

  He had no idea just how right I was afraid he was, though I hoped that wasn’t the case. I didn’t feel like it was, but in the back of my mind, it was exactly what I feared.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Bree

  I ROLLED OVER IN BED, not sure I wanted to get out. Yesterday, I had tripped while getting out of the shower. Thankfully, I was alone, and no one witnessed the humiliating experience. I wasn’t hurt—not bad anyway, but my ego was seriously bruised. My ego and my mood. I was embarrassed and frustrated. The depression had set in again and was making it difficult for me to want to do anything.

  However, I knew I had to put on a brave face. Luke would be showing up soon and I didn’t want him to see me feeling blue. He worked so hard to keep me happy. I wanted to be happy. damnit, I really did. I groaned, rolling over onto my back and throwing my arms out.

  Thankfully, my dad was going to be gone for the weekend again and wouldn’t see me wallowing. I was beginning to suspect my dad was seeing someone. It seemed suspect that he went out of town for the weekends. Who did business on the weekend? I wouldn’t be upset if he was. I would love for him to find someone to spend time with. I would love for him to have someone to spend his life with for that matter.

  I raised my arm, testing the stiffness in it after the fall. It was my ass that took the brunt of the impact. My butt and my elbow were a little sore. It could have been so much worse. I was glad I didn’t hit my head. The last thing I needed was another blow to my already damaged brain.

  Slowly, I sat up, testing out the rest of my body. I was sore and felt a few more bruises. I had no way of knowing if they were actual, ugly bruises or if they just hurt. Something else I realized would be difficult to deal with moving forward with my unsighted life. Most people could look at a cut and know if it was bad enough to need medical attention. I couldn’t see the hazards coming and when they inevitably did happen, I would have a hard time taking care of an injury.

  “Don’t dwell,” I told myself, throwing off the blanket.

  I wanted the surgery, but I also was trying to prepare myself for the very possible outcome in the event it didn’t work. Luke and my dad were focused on the idea of it working and my life returning to normal. I had to be a realist. I had to prepare for the very real chance it wouldn’t. I was going to be the one left in the dark for the rest of my days. I had secretly reached out to a facility in Florida. It was essentially a training program for the blind. They would teach me how to live without sight. They boasted they could help me find a job and give me a normal life. If the surgery failed or if the doctor had already changed her mind about doing it, I would go there.

  It was something I had to do alone. I would go away, figure out who I was and when I returned, I would get my own place and start my life over. I wasn’t sure if t
hat new life would include Luke, but I hoped it would.

  Making my way to the shower, I was being careful about where I stepped. I didn’t want a repeat of the night before. I quickly washed my hair and dressed in a pair of jeans and what my pen reader told me was a light pink shirt.

  I smelled both coffee and Luke, two scents I was becoming very used to first thing in the morning. “Good morning,” I greeted him.

  “You look beautiful,” Luke answered. “I already poured your coffee.”

  “Thank you.” I took my seat and slowly reached for the coffee until I felt the handle of the mug.

  “Mel texted me a bit ago. She wants to know if you want to hang out at the beach today.”

  I tried to hide my initial reaction. Going to the beach would mean putting on a bathing suit. I didn’t know how big or bad the bruises were. I didn’t want them to see. They would ask me what happened, and I would have to admit to falling on my ass. It was slightly degrading to fall as often as I did now. I felt like a toddler just learning to walk.

  “Uh, I don’t know,” I hedged.

  “It’s going to be a warm, beautiful day out,” he encouraged. “I can pack us a little picnic lunch.”

  I smiled at the idea of spending a day on the beach with my best friend and Luke. He wasn’t my best friend like Mel was, but he was a different kind of best friend. “I guess we could go for a while.”

  “Did you have other plans?” he asked.

  I smirked. “Yes. My very busy day of sitting in my room or sitting by the pool.”

  “Great. I brought along my stuff for the beach. She said she was going to drag you out there if you didn’t agree to it.”

  I laughed. “That sounds like her.”

  “Do you need help picking out a bikini?” he asked.

  His tone contained that familiar husky sound. I couldn’t see his expression, but I could hear the tone in his voice. That was how I judged his moods. He was thinking about sex. “My dad is out of town for a few days,” I told him.

  I heard his sharp intake of breath. “Bree, we can’t. Besides, Mel is going to be here any minute. I don’t want to risk her walking in on anything.”

  I grinned. “Chicken.”

  “I am,” he said with a laugh before busting out in what was supposed to be the sound of a chicken clucking.

  I ate my toast and some sliced melon before heading for my bedroom to find a bikini to wear. I put it on before choosing a black coverup that I was hoping to keep on to hide the bruises I was sure I had. I could feel one on my arm and on my hip. I prayed they weren’t as ugly as they felt.

  “Good morning,” I heard Mel’s voice call out.

  I walked out of my room, waiting for her to see me and give me a general direction of where she was. “Good morning,” I said.

  “Are you ready to be wowed?” she said excitedly.

  “How do you plan on wowing me?”

  “I plan on showing you the best time you’ve had in a long time. We’re going to sunbathe and play in the water and be total beach bums.”

  I didn’t tell her Luke had taken me to the beach plenty of times. “I am very ready. Wow me, woman.”

  “That could be taken in so many different ways,” Luke’s voice came from my right.

  Mel and I both burst into laughter. “You’re such a man,” Mel teased.

  “Yes, he is,” I answered with plenty of innuendo.

  “You just made him turn red,” Mel said with a laugh.

  I moved in his general direction until he had his arm around my shoulders. “Not that red,” he said. “Let’s get out of here. I already put the cooler in the car.”

  Suddenly, I was suddenly looking forward to the beach. I had been hesitant, worried I would feel left out or like a third wheel with two seeing friends. But I knew they were going to take care of me. It was going to be fun as long as I let it be.

  At the beach, Luke spread out the blanket and helped me get situated. Mel was on my left with Luke on my right. I was completely safe and at ease.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to take off that coverup?” Mel asked.

  “I’m good. I don’t want to burn too bad.”

  We settled in, each of us enjoying the peaceful sounds of nature. I let myself drift away on the sounds of the ocean. I listened to the seagulls flying overhead, praying they didn’t decide to take a shit on me. Before, when I had come to the beach, I never really noticed the seagulls. They were more of a white noise. Now, I heard everything. I swore I could even hear their wings cutting through the air.

  I could hear the sound of Luke breathing next to me. It was a slow, steady rhythm that told me he was utterly relaxed as well. I inhaled deeply, letting the sea air fill my lungs. The faint scent of fish and brine made me feel right at home. It reminded me of mornings when I would wake up early and go for a walk on the beach.

  “You good?” Luke asked.

  “So good,” I said turning my face towards him and smiling.

  “Let’s go for a walk,” Mel suggested. “I want to get my feet in the water.”

  Luke helped me to stand. I winced when he reached for my elbow. He immediately noticed and lifted up the gauzy arm of the coverup. “What happened?” he asked.

  The alarm in his voice told me there was definitely a bruise. “What do you mean?”

  “Your arm is bruised from the elbow to halfway down your arm,” he hissed, lifting the sleeve higher.

  “I fell,” I said trying to sound casual.

  “Are you hurt?” he asked.

  “Just my pride.”

  “Bree, where else did you hit? Where did you fall?”

  I felt the coverup that fell to my knees being raised. It was a little undignified to be looked over like a child while I stood on the beach. I had no idea how many people were around. I hoped like hell no one was watching. I heard him curse under his breath.

  “What’s wrong?” Mel asked.

  “You have a hell of a bruise on your hip too, but I suppose you already knew that. Is anything broken?”

  “No,” I told him. “It’s just a bruise.”

  “Two bruises. Deep bruises. You could have been hurt.”

  “I’m fine,” I insisted, stepping away and pushing the gauzy material back over my body. I was feeling very vulnerable and wished like hell I would have said I didn’t want to go to the beach. “It’s just a bruise or two. I’ve been bruised before. Don’t make a big deal out of it.”

  There was an awkward silence. I imagined Mel and Luke were exchanging looks. They were pitying me without saying it. “Alright, let’s go for that walk,” Mel said in a fake cheery tone.

  I rolled my eyes and hated feeling like I had to be lied to and cheered up. I hated being the odd man out. Luke, who usually put his hand on my elbow to guide me, took my hand instead. “You could have told me,” he said in a low voice.

  “It’s not a big deal,” I snapped. “Don’t make it into one.”

  “You could have been hurt.”

  “I could be hurt right now. A plane could drop out of the sky or a man could run down the beach and knock all of us to the ground. Shit happens. I fell. It isn’t a big deal. I’m sure I’ll probably fall a hundred more times before this life is over.”

  “But this was preventable,” Luke insisted.

  “Are you going to be there waiting when I step out of the shower?”

  Mel burst into laughter. “Don’t tease the man, Bree.”

  “You know what I mean,” I growled. “It was a fall. I tripped and fell. End of story.”

  “I’m going to make sure that doesn’t happen again,” he said, with a finality in his voice that suggested he wasn’t to be argued with.

  I had no idea how he planned to do that, but more power to him. I didn’t exactly enjoy falling on my ass, but it was a part of my new life.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Luke

  I WALKED INTO THE HOUSE, leaving Bree and Mel alone to say their goodbyes. I was furious with myse
lf and the situation. The bruises on Bree’s body worried me. I knew they were just bruises, but I couldn’t stop my brain from going a little overboard. I had created scenarios that ended with her suffering some horrible injury. I thought about her lying on the floor, unconscious and bleeding with no one there to help her.

  Rationally, I knew it could happen to anyone. The irrational side of me feared for her because of her inability to see. I worried she couldn’t care for herself. Not yet. She had not fully embraced her visual impairment and therefore hadn’t got herself a walking stick or learned how to step to avoid trips. She was visiting the land of darkness and acting like a tourist. If she planned on living their full time, she had to make some changes.

  I had the responsibility of encouraging her to make those changes. I was not going to pressure her about the surgery. I understood. She didn’t want it. That meant she had to start making some changes and accepting her life for what it was.

  “Luke?” she called out when she came through the door.

  “I’m here,” I said, as I walked towards her.

  “I’m tired. I think I’ll lay down for a bit.”

  She had been very subdued since the discovery of her bruises. I knew she was embarrassed, and I was trying to pretend it wasn’t a big deal for her sake, but deep down, it was killing me. “Why don’t I get you some tea and a couple ibuprofen.”

  She offered a small smile. “They don’t hurt that bad,” she said, knowing exactly why I was suggesting it.

  “But they do hurt.”

  “A little.”

  I walked her into her room and helped her find something to change into. “I’ll be back in five. Do you want a snack?”

  “No thanks.”

  I went into the kitchen and put on the tea kettle before finding the painkillers. I couldn’t shake the guilty feeling. She had been injured and didn’t tell me. If it had been my mother that tripped, there would have been an ambulance called and a great deal of drama. I felt like a total dick for thinking Bree and my mother were the same. Bree was strong. She was trying to be stronger than she really was.