Primals Read online

  “Africa?” Clarissa asks behind me.

  “A scientific facility,” Noboru goes on. “I don’t know the details but they were making something there, conducting experiments, forbidden experiments. The...”

  Just then, I hear a thud and turning my head, I see Clarissa falling to her knees on the ground, her face pale.

  “Clarissa?” I ask at the same time that Kyle shouts, rushing to her side.

  She doesn’t answer, seemingly catatonic, and so I go into her mind, seeing an image of a picture on a shelf, a picture of a couple at their wedding, the woman with the same hair as Clarissa, the man with the same eyes.

  A memory.

  Your mother and father were on their honeymoon in Africa when they had an accident, a woman’s voice speaks. Your father died on the spot. Your mother survived, which is a good thing because she was pregnant. She had to wander for days until they managed to rescue her. Unfortunately, she died giving birth to you. You are what remains of them, a precious legacy of the love they had for each other.

  I blink, as I process this.

  Did she say Africa?

  Chapter Eleven

  ~ Clarissa

  AFRICA.

  I sit in a corner of the small room, my arms and knees shaking as I stare at the tatami spread beneath me.

  It’s one of the world’s continents, I know, one known for its wildlife, its diamonds and its poverty, and so it’s not unusual for it to come up in conversations once in a while. In fact, I’ve heard of it many times before. Still, each time I do, the effect on me is the same.

  Numbing. Weakening. Shattering.

  No matter how many years have passed, I still vividly remember that night when Mama Molly told me the truth about who I was.

  I was nine and it was a Saturday and I was rummaging around the house for something to use for my art project at school when I came across a picture of a couple, the man with the same hair as mine, the woman with the same eyes. When I asked Mama about it, she lied to me at first, taking the picture away. But that evening, after dinner, with Pa Henry standing by her, she told me the truth. She told me that she and Pa Henry weren’t my real parents but that she had been a friend of my mother’s. She said that my mother and father had a road accident while they were having their honeymoon in Africa. My father died on the spot but my mother survived. She was brought back to the US where she gave birth to me but died shortly after and so, Mama and Pa Henry decided to adopt me.

  I cried myself to sleep that night.

  Since then, I haven’t been able to stand seeing pictures of Africa because I always end up imagining my real Mom and Dad in that accident. It’s for that same reason that in spite of the many times the Lab has offered to send me to Africa for research, I’ve refused. I can’t bear to go there, knowing that it’s where my life began yet where my parents’ lives ended. Yes, my mother survived a few months more to give birth to me but I overheard Mama Molly saying once that the trauma Mom suffered from the accident, and the heartache from losing Dad took a toll on her body and mind and she lost her will to live long before I was born.

  They were living their dreams in Africa until it turned into a nightmare, a nightmare I’ve been having over and over again. And the worst thing is that the nightmare isn’t over.

  In fact, something tells me it’s only just begun.

  “Hey.” Kyle enters the room with a small, plastic bag. “I got you some food from the convenience store.”

  I quickly shift my gaze back to the floor, hugging my knees tighter to my chest. “I’m not hungry, Kyle.” As though instant noodles can cure anything.

  “Are you sure?” He sits near me. “We climbed a lot of stairs today and you ran pretty fast back there.”

  I say nothing.

  “Let’s see what we have here.”

  I hear the rustle of the plastic bag as he goes through its contents.

  “We have triangle-shaped rice balls, which I think have tuna filling. My Japanese is a little rusty. Sorry. Also, we have sandwiches with what looks like egg, ham, lettuce and cucumbers. We have these fish-shaped cakes with red bean paste. We have cup noodles. Oh, and we have dessert. Yuzu and Wasabi-flavored Kit Kat bars...chocolate-coated squid...”

  I raise an eyebrow.

  Kyle grins.

  “Well, that caught your interest.” He hands me the candy bar. “Why not try it?”

  I look at it. “Great. A weird snack for a weirdo like me.”

  “No fair.” Kyle reaches out to hold my hand. “You’re stealing my title.”

  I lift up my eyes to meet his, finding them overflowing with kindness, concern.

  I place my hand over his. “It’s okay, Kyle. I’ve always known I was...different. I never felt like I belonged anywhere.”

  “Except at the Lab.”

  “Except with animals,” I correct him, though for a long time it was one and the same. “Weird, isn’t it? Maybe that’s why I love animals so much. Because I’m...related to them.”

  “Hello.” Kyle playfully punches my shoulder. “All humans are related to animals. Didn’t they teach you that in Biology?”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “What? You think you’re like Theo and Sebastian?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know, Kyle. I don’t know what I am, and a part of me is scared to find out.”

  “I know you are.” He moves closer to me. “But hey, so what if you’re like them? I know Sebastian can sometimes be a jerk and Theo...well, sometimes, he’s in his own world, but they’re not that bad. They were especially cool when they took down that Cat.”

  I raise an eyebrow at him. “Weren’t you the one who took down Noboru by splashing water on him?”

  “My point is it’s not all bad. Think of all the things you could do with your superpowers. You would be so cool.”

  “It’s not cool, Kyle!” I stand up, turning my back to him and clenching my fists. “Can’t you stop acting like a kid for a second? This is not some sci-fi movie. I’m not some superhero, okay? I’m a freak. I’m not even like Theo and Sebastian. Didn’t you hear? I’m different. I’m...artificially made. I may not even be real. Worse, I’m beginning to think it has something to do with my parents. My real parents. Did they really die in an accident? What if my father was...a Primal? What if he was killed for being with my mother? What if my parents died because of me? Do you still think that’s cool?”

  I whirl around, finding Kyle silent, tears brimming in his eyes.

  He’s too sensitive. I want to be angry at him for crying, but it’s me who’s to blame. What have I done?

  “I’m sorry, Clarissa,” he says softly, bowing his head. “I didn’t mean...I was just trying to...”

  “I’ll go out and get some air,” I cut him off, already knowing what he’s going to say and unable to bear hearing his apology when he’s done nothing wrong. Especially when I’m the one who should be apologizing because I let all my frustration out on him when he was just trying to cheer me up.

  I put my shoes on and leave the room, sliding the door open and closed quickly. I lean on the closed door, drawing in a deep breath. Praying Kyle’s got enough sense to not follow me outside. I really need him...and everyone else...to give me some space right now.

  Get a hold of yourself, Clarissa. You’re in enough of a mess as it is.

  Taking another deep breath, I walk down the corridor, my hand over my forehead in frustration and my head bowed in remorse, which turns out to be a bad thing since I end up bumping into someone, stumbling back and falling down after feeling like crashing into a wall.

  “Ouch.” I rub my backside.

  “Oh...there you are.” Theo kneels in front of me, his big, dark brown eyes looking into mine. “Are you okay?”

  Theo? No wonder it felt like crashing into a wall.

  “I’m fine,” I tell him. “It’s my fault for not looking where I was going.”

  “But...”

  “Just help me up.”

  I offe
r him my arm and he pulls me to my feet in one effortless gesture.

  Standing in front of him, I become aware of what he’s wearing – just a robe that’s gaping around his chest, probably because it’s too small for him. His chest glistens, a drop of water trickling down the middle and disappearing beneath the fabric. I’m not even sure if he’s wearing anything underneath that.

  My brain derails a moment as I think about that.

  I look away, shrugging off my thoughts. I can’t afford to be distracted right now. And these half-naked men are constantly proving to be just that.

  “Are you sure you’re alright?” Theo asks, his eyes dark with concern.

  I nod.

  “You should try the hot spring bath,” he tells me. “It’ll melt your worries, soothe your soul and relax your muscles.” He yawns. “Now, I’m sleepy.”

  “Go and take a nap.” I pat his arm. “I’ll just walk around.”

  “Okay.”

  I pin myself against the wall so that he can squeeze through, tucking my stomach in and holding my breath as well. I let it out in a sigh as I start walking away but then I feel a hand on my shoulder, drawing me back. I look up in surprise.

  “I am sorry, Clarissa,” Theo says.

  Another apology. Why are people always apologizing to me?

  “I’m sorry about your parents. Kyle and Sebastian filled me in.”

  “They did, did they?” I turn around to face him. “What exactly did they say?”

  “That they died while having a vacation in Africa.” He places his other hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

  I look down. “Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault."

  “I’m just saying I understand how it feels to lose someone who’s a part of you.”

  “Why, Theo?” I lift my gaze to meet his. “Who have you lost? Was it that woman?”

  Theo’s eyes grow wide, his hands leaving my shoulders. “How do you know about her?”

  “I saw her picture back at your apartment. Who is she?”

  This time, it’s he who bows his head. “No one.”

  My hands fall on my hips. “Ah. I see how it is. It’s okay for you and Sebastian to know about my past and my secrets but it’s not okay for me to know yours.” I’m being a brat, but I don’t care right now. I couldn’t stop if I wanted to.

  “Clarissa...”

  I cross my arms over my chest. “Oh, I’m not surprised. After all, we’re not friends, are we? Or a team. Or anything. We’re all just a sorry excuse for a freak show.”

  With that, I march off down the corridor, and turn left into another, eventually getting outside. Finding a small garden but with no benches, I sit on a boulder by a bamboo water fountain, burying my face in my hands in exasperation.

  First, Kyle, then Theo, both with good intentions and completely undeserving of receiving the bad end of my temper.

  I feel like a loose cannon.

  Then maybe you should try to calm down.

  I glance over my shoulder, finding Sebastian standing there.

  I pout. How many times must I tell you not to barge into my head? Isn’t it enough that you’ve delved into my most painful memory and told everyone about it?

  Your father isn’t a Primal.

  What?

  He moves closer, towering over me.

  You were wondering about that earlier when you were talking to Kyle.

  Great. Why don’t you just live inside my head since you’ve made yourself so welcome?

  Your father isn’t a Primal. Primals cannot mate with humans. Well, they can but no offspring will come of it. If only one could, we wouldn’t be in the dire situation we’re in today.

  I look up at him. What dire situation?

  Near extinction. Over the centuries, our numbers have dwindled and now, very few females remain. Soon, we will all be wiped out.

  I turn away, staring at the fountain. I didn’t know that.

  There are a lot of things you don’t know. But you’re a scientist. Puzzles like that intrigue you. I can feel you already questioning why so few females remain. You want to know about male/female birth ratios, infant mortality rates...you’re already trying to solve the problem you’ve been presented with.

  I stare at him; not sure I get the point. So?

  So you have a new puzzle now. But you don’t want the answer? You’re not the least bit interested in finding out who...and more importantly...what you are? He steps in close. His eyes are kind but his words are harsh. You know that the answers you seek are in Africa.

  I stand up. “Are you telling me to go to Africa with you? Because if you are, the answer is no. I’m not going there. I’ve sworn never to go there.”

  “But you must.” Sebastian doesn’t take his eyes off of me. He’s mesmerizing, and I realize that this is the gaze of the wolf. “Don’t you want to find out what really happened to your parents or who they really are?”

  “No!” My chest heaves as I raise my voice. “Can’t you see I’m fine the with the way I am? Don’t you know how much I’ve been trying to put the death of my parents behind me?”

  “You can’t run away, Clarissa.”

  I narrow my eyes at him. “Watch me.”

  Looking at the bamboo fence and then around me, I jump over it, landing on my hands and one knee on the other side. Shaking the dust off my palms, I start running down the street, slowing down when I find myself among people, putting the hood of my sweater on so I can shield myself from their curious stares.

  I keep walking with my head bowed down, not really knowing where but after a while, I stop as I see something land on my shoe.

  A pink petal.

  Looking up, I see more of them hanging precariously on the branches. As a strong breeze blows, pushing my hood off my head, it causes the petals to cascade around me like a delicate, pink rain.

  Stunning.

  A smile on my lips, I reach out to catch some of the soft drops in my hand, nestling them in my palm but involuntarily let them escape as I feel a sharp prickle on the back of my neck, a prick that turns into an unpleasant jolt down my spine.

  Someone’s watching me.

  I turn around, expecting to see Theo or Sebastian, but it’s not them. Besides, if Sebastian was there, I’d hear his thoughts by now, unless he’s hiding them from me like I was able to hide my thoughts from him when I was concentrating in the woods.

  Still, Theo would be impossible to miss.

  Ignoring the feeling, I put my hood back on and keep walking but then, it comes again and this time, it causes my heart to clench as I remember Sebastian’s warning.

  Some primals might perceive you as a threat and kill you.

  Swallowing the lump in my throat and placing a hand on my chest as I force my heart to stop pounding and my lungs to breathe, I walk even faster, past crowds and under cherry blossom rains.

  Faster. Faster.

  I walk without stopping, crossing a street. Someone mumbles an apology in Japanese as he bumps my shoulder. Still, I go on.

  Finally, at what looks like a street lined with shops, the feeling disappears and I stop, leaning on my knees as I let out a sigh of relief and catch my breath.

  Just when I’ve caught it, it leaves me in a gasp as fingers tap my shoulder, a voice speaking from behind me soon after.

  “Um, are you lost?”

  I turn around, seeing a Japanese man in his late twenties wearing a red, hooded jacket, his hair like sunset with streaks of red and purple and hoops hanging from his ears. His eyes, emerald marbles with tints of blue and gold, are the most dazzling I’ve ever seen, though they disappear as he smiles, dimples popping out on his smooth, pale cheeks instead.

  “I’m Toshi.” He offers me his hand as he gives a bow. “Nice to meet you.”

  Chapter Twelve

  ~ Toshi

  FROM WHERE I’M STANDING, my arm wrapped around the handrail by the door, I watch Clarissa look out the window of the train to Tokyo, her slate eyes glistening and growing wide
every now and then with wonder, her lips curving up into a smile or parting to let out a gasp.

  Strange, I think as I scratch my chin, there doesn’t seem to be anything special about her.

  By that, I mean there’s nothing non-human about her. She looks like a human, and without much fashion sense at that. She smells like a human, though maybe in need of a shower. She’s even gullible like a human, like a kid. I just told her that I was a graduate student with a project that required showing a foreigner around for a day and she eagerly went with me. If I had the same dark intentions as the ones I sensed off the Cat that was following her back in Saitama, she’d be dead.

  As it is, my intentions are more of a curious nature. I was there the night they cornered Noboru. Stupid Cat. I saw this Clarissa with a Wolf and a Bear. Very curious. I also heard something about artificial primals and given the circumstances, I suspect she’s one.

  I just don’t know which primal she’s an artificial copy of. Cat? Bear? Wolf? Rodent? Deer? Bat?

  So I intend to find out by playing a little game.

  I love games.

  As the train stops at the next station and the doors slide open, I call her name.

  “Clarissa!”

  She follows me out the train, stepping onto the platform in a lively manner.

  “That was fun,” she says, smiling. “So, where are we going, Toshi?”

  I grin. “I have a few places in mind.”

  AOYAMA CEMETERY. GOTOKUJI. Akihabara. The Tokyo Snake Center. The Imperial Palace. Tsukiji Fish Market.

  I can’t believe we’ve managed to visit all those in one day. Now, we’re at our last stop – Tokyo Tower.

  And still, I haven’t figured out what race Clarissa belongs to.

  She doesn’t seem to talk to the dead. She seems to like cats. She’s not scared of snakes. She doesn’t mind open spaces or closed spaces like that karaoke room or crowds or flashing lights. She likes seafood but doesn’t drool over it like I do.

  What she does mind are loud music and that natto shop but then, most of us hate that because of our keen sense of hearing and smell. It doesn’t exactly narrow down the list. Besides, even many humans tend not to like those.